


Spacetrip of DOOM

by Marijke_Rose



Series: Invader Zim - The Nightmare is Real Series [3]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Irken Empire, Irken!Dib, M/M, RaPr, Slash, Soulmate AU, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2020-10-06 05:21:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20501561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marijke_Rose/pseuds/Marijke_Rose
Summary: The sequel or part 2 of 'Roadtrip of DOOM'.--The secrets of Area 51 have been uncovered and seem to hold news that has Zim very antsy. Thus, the two new-lovers must embark on another journey, for the fate of the universe (well, the Irken Empire) rests in their claws.--Characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon; except for the Jeweller and Zib, they belong to me.Note: This does NOT take the events of 'Enter the Florpus' into account (I've seen it now! But I started this series prior to it's release, so I'm not going to edit it in at this point now).As with 'Roadtrip', you can follow the DeviantArt account for info and pics and such for this story too.http://zadr-nir.deviantart.com





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't just want to leave you all completely hanging, and I said I had planned to post at least the first chapter soon, so I decided I would do that now.
> 
> It'll be a while before I update further, because though a HUGE chunk has been written, I am struggling with the climax and I don't want to end up having most of it posted and then leave you guys hanging for months because I can't get the darned scene to flow smoothly or something.
> 
> But, anyway, now you can now bookmark this to get updates as they happen.

_ ‘We are going to IRK!’ _

Before Dib had even been able to comprehend that, Zim had sprung into action, wasting not a second, and began typing into a display, his hands flying over it fast and sure and displaying Zim’s true prowess.

This lasted for about five minutes, then he barked into the air, ”GIR! Report to the communication level at once! - GIR, we haven't a moment to lose, so move it!” Then he turned to the amber-eyed Irken. “Dib! Do you have everything you need? This isn't going to be a short trip!”

Dib shuffled and thought about it. “Well, I-I could use some clothes-”

“You can wear Irken clothes!” Zim interrupted. “Hyooman clothing isn't going to do you much good when we get to Irk.”

“Oh… well, um… Oh!” He snapped his fingers. “I have to go home anyway! I still need to tell my family that I’m alive and… well, that I’m going to be gone for awhile, and-”

“We don't have time for that!”

“What?!” Dib cried, incredulous. “Zim, I’m not _ asking _ you! We have to! I-I know you're worried about the Empire, but you HAVE to give me this!”

“Dib! This is URGENT! it’s a matter of life and death for billions and billions and billions of people, not just Irkens, but all allies to the Empire!”

Dib folded his arms. “If you can't give me this, Zim, then you’ll have to go _ without me.” _

Zim’s mouth fell open, then he closed it and opened it again, clearly about to protest, then his shoulders slumped. _ “Fine… _ we’ll stop by on our way, but… you have to make it fast! We _ cannot _ stay for lunch!”

“Agreed. - That’s all I _ wanted _ anyway.”

GIR dropped in through one of the tunnels in the ceiling and landed on his feet before Zim. “Master!” He saluted. “YOU BACK!”

“Ah, good, GIR! - GIR, get ready for we are going home!”

“Home?” the SIR repeated. “We just _ got _ here.”

Zim blinked, then chuckled. “No, no, GIR. We are going back to our home on Irk!”

GIR looked anything but happy, and gave his master puppy eyes. “Awwww, what about the green monkey!!?” He pointed to Dib.

Zim glanced at his Pendant. “Do not worry, GIR, for I am taking him with us. - NOW ENOUGH TALK-”

“NNNNOOOOO-NNOOOOOO-NOOOO!” GIR suddenly screeched, causing the two irkens to cover their ear holes, and ran madly about the communications room. “I DON'T WANNA GO HOME - I'LL MAKE US CUPCAKES AND SOAPY BACON!” Then he rocketed off back through the ceiling where he had come.

“We’re not actually _ taking _ him with us, are we?” Dib asked, walking over to Zim.

“Of course we are,” Zim replied, still glaring after GIR. “I will be taking my base and he can't stay here without a place to live.”

“Oh…”

  


***

  


They stopped before the Membrane residence and GIR jumped out of the Voot Cruiser followed by Zim and Dib, all in disguise. They walked towards the door and Dib hesitated.

“Dib?”

He shook his head. “I-I don't know what to say… What if he notices something’s wrong with me? That I’m an alien?”

“Your parent never noticed _ me.” _Then Zim took his hand and squeezed. “But if he does, then we go back to the Cruiser and start our journey. He can't follow us into space.” When Dib didn't look convinced, he added, “And I won't let anything happen to you, my Sweetling.”

Dib finally nodded and went to the door; with a deep breath, he opened it and peeked inside seeing no one in sight as GIR ran by him and into the house. “Dad?” Gaz?” He called nervously, then listened and when he got no response, he looked worriedly to Zim. “Maybe he’s downstairs…”

“After you… But remember, we have a schedule.”

“I know…” Dib and Zim headed to the stairs and made their way down to the basement. Once there, Dib looked around the lab. “Dad? Dad, are you here?” He glanced to Zim and shrugged helplessly.

“Good, let’s go!” The ruby-eyed irken turned on his heel and began heading back to the stairs.

“Hold on a sec, I’m going to see if he’s at his lab…” He pulled a floating display from where it was hovering above his head and tapped it to send a call to the lab. Hanging back near the stairs, Zim folded his arms and waited in silence.

After a moment, the screen flicked on and the back of Professor Membrane appeared onscreen. “Whoever is bothering my important work, please make it very fast! The fate of the universe depends on my newest invention!”

Zim scoffed. “You have no idea, _ Dib-Parent.” _

“SHHT!” Dib snapped, glaring at him before turning back to the screen. “Um, hi, Dad, it’s me…” he said nervously.

“Who? I don't know any ‘Me’.”

“No, no, it’s me, your son.”

“I’m pretty sure neither of my offspring are named that. - Now stop making prank calls!”

Zim stomped over to the screen. “It is your son, the DIB, you ignorant meatsack! Listen to him NOW, because we have no time!”

Dib cringed as Professor Membrane turned around and looked at the screen. He focused on Zim.

“Hey, aren't you that little foreign kid my poor insane son once went to skool with when he was little? Sam or Sid, wasn't it?”

“ZIM, you brainless hyooman! I AM ZIM!”

“That’s nice,” he said, then turned to Dib. “Oh, Dib! Back from your little trip?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dib replied, sweating and wishing the floor would swallow him up.

“I’m glad you called, because we need to discuss your return to boarding skool and the institution. - How are you feeling?” He leaned towards the screen, taking a closer look at Dib. “Hmm, you seem to be a little green around the gills. Have you been taking your medication?”

Dib rubbed his arm. “Yeah, about that…”

“Good, good. We’ll talk more when I get home.”

“Dad, I need to tell you something now! I’m going on a trip with Zim!” he blurted out as quick as possible.

“That’s nice, just be home for dinner so we can talk; and tell your sister!” Then he signed off.

Dib face-palmed and groaned in frustration.

“Well, that’s taken care of! Let’s go!” Zim announced dismissively, grabbing Dib by the arm and leading him to the stairs.

Dib didn't protest until they we're upstairs and Zim turned for the door, then he stopped. “I’m gonna check if Gaz is here.”

“Diiiiib!” Zim whined.

“Zim, just chill!” 

Then he ran up the stairs for Gaz’s room. He stopped at the door and knocked, Zim joining him.

“Gaz! Are you here? I-I’m home.”

“Go away, I’m busy!” her voice snapped from the other side of the door.

“Oh, good! Gaz, I have to tell you something! Can I come in?” He reached for the knob, but it opened before him to reveal his sister, a can of soda in her hand and looking furious.

She glanced to Zim and groaned. “Make it quick.” She opened the door all the way and gestured them inside. “Don't touch anything,” she hissed at them as they walked by.

Dib turned to her and hugged her. “I missed you!”

She growled, but returned the hug curtly. “Now get off me or else I will have to destroy you.” When he did as he was told, she looked at Zim. “What experiment was _ that?” _ She asked, pointing to her brother.

Dib sighed, knowing Gaz had probably already seen through his disguise as easily as she had seen through Zim’s. “It’s…- He… - I would've died if he hadn’t… - There was just no other way… - There was just so much blood and… the pain ripping my guts apart - I-I’m an alien too now.”

“Dib, you were _ always _ an alien, he just made you _ look _ more like one; now quit acting like your idiot self and start making sense.”

Dib gulped. “I-I mean, I’m _ really… _ \- Zim and my DNA-”

She clapped her hand over his mouth and looked at Zim, who was now tapping his foot impatiently. “Can _ you _ be intelligible?”

“Your parent will be home for dinner, but _ we _ are leaving and are very behind schedule,” Zim answered. “And his DNA isn't broken anymore. It is now _ superior _ thanks to Zim!”

“Obviously. _ Everything _ would be an improvement. - So, you’re taking him to your planet?”

“Yes, in fact I am; now if we may go already.”

“So, if I spray him with this, is he going to run away smoking and screaming too?” She held up her soda.

“GAZ!” Dib gasped.

“Yes, probably,” Zim replied dismissively. “It will burn him. - So, can we GO??”

“If you're coming back with your fleet to destroy the Earth, I want front row seats, understood?”

“Yes, yes, of course…” Zim waved his hand dismissively.

She smiled. “Have fun then, and I’ll cover for you,” she told them and walked over to her stereo.

“THANKS, GAZ!” Dib cried, grateful, and ran over to her, throwing his arms around her again.

Growling, she reached out and turned on the stereo, _ Rammstein _ blared at full volume, causing both Irkens to cover their ears in pain.

Teeth grit, Zim marched forward, grabbed Dib’s arm and dragged him out. Gaz slammed the door behind them.

Once downstairs, Dib lowered his hands and looked toward her room. “Why does she _ play _ that stuff??” he whined.

_ “Because it annoys you!” _ her voice boomed omnisciently.

Once they’d fetched GIR and all three were settled in the Voot Cruiser, Zim began tipping on the display. Shortly, the engines came online and, as Zim tipped the controls, the Cruiser shot off in a vertical direction, making its way for space and they all removed their disguises.

  
No sooner had they reached the upper atmosphere than GIR jumped up on Zim’s head.   
  
"GIR!" Zim barked angrily. "Get off my head-"   
  
“IMMA SING THE ‘DOOM’ SONG AGAIN! - DOOM-DE-DOOM-DOOM-DOO-DOOM!-”   


***

  
  
The Voot Cruiser came to a halt as Zim smashed his fist down on the control panel.   
  
“NO, DIB!” Drawing his hand back to wrap it around Dib, he struggled with all his might to hold the amber-eyed Irken back.

“-DOO-DEE-DOOM-DOOM!”  
  
“Let me go, Zim! I want to take him apart!!!” A raging Dib struggled with all his might back against Zim, reaching out with his arms and wanting nothing more in the whole universe than to get his claws on the mad little SIR unit. “LEMME GO!!!”   


The struggle had been going on for a while now, and it was getting harder for them both; at this rate, Dib was liable to hurt himself with how much he was fighting the stronger Irken Tartling.

  
"DIB! - OHHH!!" Zim snarled and leaned in close to Dib’s head, he opened his mouth and sunk his teeth sharply into his Pendant’s neck at the juncture of his shoulder. Dib squeaked and froze, ceasing his efforts, then when he’d slumped against the ruby-eyed Irken, Zim slowly released him, licking gently over the teeth marks he’d just left in his Pendant’s smooth skin.

“GIR! QUIET!” he barked at the still singing SIR unit.

Dib sighed and rubbed his neck. “What’d you _ do _ to me??” he whimpered and withdrew his hand, expecting to see blood, but finding none.

“Just a little trick which I, as your Tartling, can do to ensure your obedience,” Zim hissed near his ear. “Next time I have to do that, there _ will _ be blood. - Now, there will be NO dismantling of GIR!”

“Are you actually threatening me with violence?!”

“Make no mistake that I will use whatever means necessary to prevent you from damaging valuable Irken technology.” His voice was firm, but calmer and less commanding. “Anyway, I can see this isn't going to work. -” GIR jumped back onto his head and his eye twitched. “- It’s too cramped with the three of us, anyway! - Get off my HEAD, GIR!”

Seeing that Dib was glaring daggers at him, he shoved the SIR off and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly to calm down.

“Dib, I didn't mean it like that,” Zim whined now. “I would _ never _ hurt you, I _ love _ you too much for that! I just… need you to not destroy my SIR either… _ please?” _

Dib glared for a few seconds longer, then finally gave a slow nod. “Fine… So what are we going to do with him?”

Zim exhaled in relief, then looked at the robot who was now curled up on the control panel sucking his thumb. He scratched his chin trying to think of something.

“Maybe give him the job of guarding my family?” Dib suggested when it didn't seem like Zim was going to be able to come up with something.

“Hmm… and if we do need him, he can come with Tak’s ship.”

“Except that it doesn't _ fly, _ remember?”

“GIR!” Zim barked to get the SIR’s attention and the robot jumped up, saluting, then giggled. “GIR, I have a very special mission for you, now listen very, very, very, very, very, _ very _ closely: I want you to go back to the Earth, to the Dib home and protect it and his sister from any danger. Do you understand?”

“I protect the dancing girl!”

“Ah… ok, whatever! - Your other important mission will be to repair Tak’s ship so you can fly it to Irk if we need your help. Did you understand that too?”

“I fix funny shippy thingy!”

“Excellent! Now go! But don't forget: Keep your disguise on! - I’m counting on you, GIR!”

GIR squealed with delight and hit a spot on the panel that popped the top of the spaceship. Dib screamed in horror and Zim quickly held onto his now flailing Pendant to keep him from floating out into space. As soon as the SIR had hopped out and dove for the Earth, using its jets to guide itself, Zim touched the panel and closed the top.

“Dib, calm down; you're irken now! The vacuum of space doesn't affect you the way it would have your hyooman body.” He cuddled the hyperventilating irken to him, rubbing his shoulders in the hopes of calming him. “Dib, my Sweetling, you're alive, you know,” he added in a warm purr.

Dib blinked and forced himself to calm down. “Hey, yeah, you're right. - That’s… weird… and cool!”

“You can't breathe, but you’ll be fine. Your PAK is capable of keeping you alive for a while at least.”

“Oh.” Dib slumped back against Zim and laid his head against his shoulder as his Pendant tapped the controls and resumed their flight.

  


***


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's chapter 2. Can't tell you when I'll get the next up, but I thought it was high time to finally add another chapter (also to prove it's not abandoned, because it isn't!).
> 
> Thank you so much to those of you who are still faithfully following this! I'm so glad the delays haven't caused me to lose you.
> 
> Hopy you enjoy this one!

Once finally underway and with adequately GIR disposed of, Dib watched as they flew by planets. Strange ones, he realised, for not a single one of the three they had passed by looked anything like the ones that belonged to this star system.

“Zim, where are we? That’s not Venus,” he asked, pointing out the screen at one that  _ should _ very well have been Venus.

Zim followed his eye and looked out at the planets, then pointed to an upcoming one. “That’s the planet Guarven, the homeworld of the Planet Jackers.”

“And what are we doing here? I mean, where are all the planets in Earth’s solar system? Mars, Jupiter, Venus…?”

“Those are back in your Milkyway Galaxy… except for Mars. Mars went missing back when you  _ meddled _ in my plan to use it to crush out all life on Earth!” He glared at Dib.

“Wait, what? What do you mean ‘back in the Milkyway Galaxy’? Why isn't the Earth in it too?”

“Again your fault: Instead of  _ listening to me _ when I tried to  _ warn _ you something was wrong, you chased me out of your house!”

Dib tried to jog his memory for any one time Zim had come into his house that may have bore any significance. Alas, he came up blank, for the invader had come into his house to torment Dib on many occasions. “So?”

“So, the Planet Jackers had jacked it and by the time I could  _ save the Earth _ from a  _ horrible  _ \- non-Zimmy - _ fate, _ it had been transported to their solar system.”

Dib slumped back against the chair, finding this news all too much to take in.

“You ask what I’ve been busy with the last three years if not my mission?” Zim asked and Dib looked up, giving a nod. “Keeping your wretched planet of filth and water  _ safe _ from their further attempts to make firewood out of it!” he spat.

_ “What??” _ Dib squeaked. “What do you mean by ‘firewood’?”

Zim’s expression turned into an evil smirk. “Oh, they were going to throw it into their sun. It’s dying, you know.”

_ “What?? Why??” _

“To keep it burning.”

_ “What?! _ That makes no sense!”

“It makes plenty of sense, your brain just can't grasp it.” Zim tapped Dib’s forehead.

“It makes NO sense, Zim! That’s not how stars work! - Look, if you throw gas onto hot coals, it will flair up, but then burn out even faster because-”

Zim waved his hand dismissively. “Don't bother me with stoopid hyooman logic!” he snapped, glaring at Dib. “The only thing that matters is  _ they _ believe it will help and, so far, it always has.”

Seeing a losing battle, Dib gave a grudging huff. “Fine. And you’ve been stopping multiple attempts?”

“Yes.”

“So, what’s to keep them from trying while we’re  _ gone?” _

Zim grinned. “They’ve run out of planet transporters.”

“Won't they just build more?”

“Probably,” Zim answered with a shrug.

“Then we have to go back!” Dib cried. “NOW!”

“Nope. Do you even know how long it takes them to build a new one or how much the materials cost? The Earth will be safe until we’re back.”

Dib sighed, knowing Zim wasn't going to budge no matter what he tried. “Fine… Now, will you  _ please _ tell me why the entire universe is in so much danger?”

Zim’s expression fell and he shook his head, then looked up to Dib. “In order to explain that, I need to tell you about Irkens.”

“Well, I’m  _ all _ ears - er, you know what I mean.”

“My mission to your planet was just one of many in Operation Impending Doom II. Invaders, like me but nowhere near as AMAZING as ME, have been sent by the Tallests to planets all over the universe to claim them for the mighty Irken Empire.”

Dib rolled his eyes and folded his arms as he sat back. “Let me guess, you've made some enemies along the way?”

Zim glared at him through slit eyes. “Are you telling the story or am I? Because if you already know everything, then I’ll just shut up.”

“Really? You will?” At the nasty look Zim gave him, Dib’s grin fell.

“Want me to just drop you off on Guarven? Their atmosphere isn't friendly for Irkens.”

Dib quickly shook his head. “No, no, I’ll be good.”

“We shall see,” Zim said clearly unconvinced. “Anyway,  _ yes, _ we have made some enemies as you so luckily guessed.”

“It’s not hard to guess if you’re doing the same thing to a bunch of other planets.”

“Being good, Dib,” Zim said flatly.

“Yes. Go on.”

“That thing we saw back in Nevada wasn't just a bunch of random scribbles and words, it was a message and pieces of blueprints for a weapon that, if they are able to complete it, will not only pose a major threat to the Empire, but to anyone else they choose to turn it on!”

“Uh…”

“And what do you think will happen when they turn it on the Empire? We have enemies, but we also have allies. Allies who will be in danger if the Empire goes down.”

Dib gaped as he tried to comprehend. “So, that means…”

_ “Universal war, _ Dib.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


  
“So, how long does it take to get to Irk?” Dib asked lazily from his all-too-comfortable spot stretched out in Zim’s arms and lap on the driver’s seat, with his companion’s hands resting clasped on his chest. His amber eyes were closed for, after the first eight hours of travelling through mostly empty space with the wonderful scent of mint and cinnamon and alien spice filling his every breath, the Sweetling had unwittingly dozed off and was only just now coming to again.  
  
“It took me six months to get from Conventia to Earth when I first went there, but now that I know the way - and the Planet Jackers did give us a little nudge when they transported the Earth to their galaxy - we’re now traveling at a much higher speed.” Zim replied, sounding equally as content as Dib. “It will still take a while, though,” he continued, idly caressing his fingers against Dib’s chest. “So, if we don't run into any trouble, we could be there within a week, but most likely two.”  
  
Dib gave a start, his antennae springing up. “TWO WEEKS??”  
  
“Now you know why I was so eager to leave.”  
  
“I’ll go crazy by that time!”  
  
“Yes, I thought so. So I’ve been thinking of ways to keep you busy.”  
  
“There’s no way I’m going to spend an entire two weeks _having_ _sex_, so _forget_ it.”  
  
Zim’s breath caught audibly in his throat. “Mmm, I wouldn't mind _trying_,” he purred and licked his lips, then flicked the tip of his tongue against the end of one of Dib’s antennae causing the sensitive appendage to flick. “But, no, I was actually thinking it would be practical to educate you about Irk and the Empire.”  
  
“Oh!” Dib cried. With his antennae still twitching at the touch, he attempted to ignore it for was starting to get used to the sensitive appendages and, though Zim’s tongue and fingers could still get to his creamy center, he wasn't reduced to a drooling puddle of spooge from one little lick. (It now took at least _two_._)_  
  
“But first, you’ll need to learn Irken,” Zim continued on, while Dib tried not to get totally turned on, and the ex-invader tapped the panel pulling up a display. He patted Dib’s arm shortly. “Take a look, my Dib.”  
  
Dib opened his eyes and raised his head to see a display showing lines of alien characters just like the ones on all of Zim’s devices, even when the ruby-eyed Irken was browsing the internet.  
  
Zim swiped the panel and a second holographic display popped up before Dib, that one was blank, then the ex-invader reached up and tapped a character at the top of the first one, it expanded to take up the entire screen.  
  
“Now, watch closely.” Zim reached out with his left hand and slowly copied the character on the blank screen with his finger. “And you try. Just move your hand near the hologram.” He erased his with a swipe.  
  
Dib reached up, looked carefully at the letter that was displayed, then moved his finger over the blank screen. Nothing happened, so he moved his finger closer and tried again. Still nothing happened and again he moved his finger yet closer still, so close that would it not have been a hologram, he would have been touching it. It still didn't respond, so he moved even closer, poking right through the holographic display yet garnered none of the desired results.  
  
Both of the displays seemed to jiggle and Dib had the strangest feeling he was being laughed at. He withdrew his finger and pursed his brow.  
  
Zim facepalmed. “COMPUTER!” he snarled, glaring daggers up at the ceiling of the Voot Cruiser. “Grant the Dib permission to INTERACT WITH THE SCREENS!”  
  


With a beep of acknowledgement, the computer complied and Zim resumed the lesson. 

After having gone through the list a number of times, Dib’s head had begun to hurt. Furthermore, he only managed to be able to write three words without having to look it up: ‘ZIM’, ‘DIB’, and ‘IRKEN’. He collapsed back against the seat while Zim looked over his work.

“I know, I know, ‘smeets learn this in seconds!’,” Dib growled mockingly.

“Well, yes…” Zim murmured, then turned to him. “But since you haven't had access to our  _ SUPERIOR education, _ I think I can find it in my heart to  _ forgive _ you. Just this once.” He snickered.

“Just shut up and hold me.” Dib grumbled; he didn't know if it was that they were Pendants or if it was just because of how much he loved Zim, but he felt an intense desire for closeness, even if Zim was being so infuriatingly Zimmy. “You make a more comfortable pillow than this seat does!” he added in order to save face.

Zim grinned, then scooped him up and cuddled him in his lap, laying back against the seat himself and Dib sighed more contentedly than he’d intended to.

  
  
  


***


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what? You get another chapter as a 'thank you' for your incredible patience! I appreciate it so much. <3

Finally, after just over a week of travel, they approached a planet.

“Behold, my Sweetling: Planet Irk!” Zim announced proudly while Dib watched the ever-growing ringed ball floating against the black of space. “Pretty impressive, huh?” He had a huge grin and his eyes were glittering with excitement.

“Finally!” he cried, eager to finally get out of the little ship and stretch his legs.

Dib watched carefully as they flew closer and closer, soon they entered the atmosphere and, from there, they flew on towards the magenta structures of what appeared to be a large and impressive city. Slowly, they descended between them until Zim finally pulled into what soon revealed itself to be a parking garage in the largest and most magnificent building of all. Tractor beams took over and guided the Runner to a free space.

“Huh, how come you didn't have to identify yourself? Us. Whatever.” Dib wondered aloud, turning to his companion.

Zim smiled and took his hand. “We were under surveillance from the moment we entered Irken territory and my Runner has been communicating our identity and intentions ever since.”

“Oh, that’s handy,” Dib remarked, anything that didn't get them shot down was good is his opinion.

Zim popped the top and hopped out, then reached out for Dib, who took his hands and jumped down in front of him. Zim wrapped his arms around Dib to steady him and kissed him warmly.

“Your first kiss on Planet Irk,” he grinned and Dib couldn't help but smile too. Then Zim took his hand and led him towards the back of the parking garage as a few short Irkens scurried to Zim’s spaceship and began taking care of it. “Come, my little Dib.”

He lead Dib inside, marching purposefully along as though he knew exactly where he was going. Dib stayed in step, but wished he could just stop and take everything in for a few moments, for this planet looked so much different from Earth or anything he’d ever seen.

He did notice that the air smelled strange, though, but he couldn't place why. To say it smelled overly artificial or steryl, was an overstatement, but it didn't smell fresh and natural either, at least, not by Earth standards. He also didn't see a single plant in the building they were in now, but doubted that meant anything.

Zim continued to lead him at his hurried pace, then suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway for… absolutely no reason Dib could see or even fathom.

“Take us to the Audience Hall, because we must speak with the Tallests URGENTLY!” When nothing seemed to happen, he added, “they are  _ expecting _ us!”

Suddenly, a circle of floor just a bit larger than them began to ascend, causing Dib to jump and cling to his Pendant in fear that he might lose his balance and fall off. Zim hooked an arm around his waist and held him close and secure.

“When we see the Tallests, Dib, remember that they are royalty! I will salute and you will wiggle your antennae towards them!” Then he reached up and placed his finger over Dib’s lips. “And don't say anything unless they speak to you; you just leave the talking to Zim.”

Dib merely nodded, hoping he could manage to do everything right and not embarrass his Pendant or upset his superiors, and Zim smiled adoringly at him.

“Ah, my Dib! You are a fine Irken specimen and I’m glad to finally see you in Irk’s light!” Dib blushed slightly and Zim kissed him again. “And your second kiss on Irk.” He kissed him again. “And third.” And kiss. “And forth.” And kiss. “And, mmm…” Kiss-kiss-kiss.

By the time they came to a halt, Dib had chills running up his spine and his antennae were dancing wildly. Suddenly, the planet was less interesting and his Pendant more. He toyed with the idea of asking if they could sneak off somewhere, but shook that thought away. Telling Zim’s leaders was top priority! Now if only Zim’s tongue and lips didn't feel so nice…

“Ew, get a room, you two!” a voice snapped, causing both to jump and whirl around.

“Invader Stink?” Zim cocked his head at the Irken who had spoken.

_ “ZIM??” _ the other, who only just barely came up to Zim’s shoulders, gasped. “Wh-what are  _ you _ doing back on Irk?? Aren't you still supposed to be on Earth?” Then he gave Zim a critical look from antennae to boots. “And you're so tall!”

“I have to speak to the Tallests urgently. - Also, they have to meet  _ him.” _ Zim indicated Dib, whom he still had an arm around.

The one Zim had called Stink looked Dib over more closely than he had Zim. “Who is he? He’s very tall too, isn't he?” His tone was certainly approving.

Zim, on the other hand, had narrowed his eyes and placed himself in front of Dib. “He’s _MY_ _Sweetling,_ the Dib.”

“Your Sweetling?” Stink repeated, the sniffed the air for a moment. “Oh… pity.” He gave Dib a last, longing look, only stopping when a growl rumbled up from Zim’s chest. “Ok, well, I’ll bring you to the Audience Hall. - Come along, you two.” Dib looked at Zim who nodded and they followed after the Invader.

The three stopped in a large hall, at the back of which was an elevated platform, but Dib couldn't see if anything or anyone was on it. On either side, stood armed guards who certainly looked like they had no sense of humour. The weight of their penetrating gazes so hard, Dib felt nervous. Their armor didn't help either, instead achieving to make them look even less approachable, with the entire bottom half of their faces covered by metal. Stink, however, marched right up to the ones on the right, receiving salutes from all of them.

“Invader Stink,” one with a gruff, but decidedly feminine voice said, still saluting him respectfully.

“Soldier Kay,” Stink acknowledged. “Zim and his Sweetling seek an urgent audience with the Tallests. - Are they currently around?”

“I shall check,” Kay said, and turned, then very perfectly marched to the back and disappeared.

After a moment, Zim, taking Dib by the hand, led him up to where Stink was standing to wait. Dib noticed that not a one of them saluted Zim, though all appeared unable to mask their awe of both Zim’s and the Sweetling’s heights. The once tiniest Irken in the entire Empire was now only half a head shorter than Dib (and they were both sure he was  _ still _ growing) and thus they both presented impressive heights.

The soldiers seemed, for the most part, to remain more professional than Stink had, fortunately; or, at least with their armor, Dib couldn't actually tell if they were secretly drooling or not and their eyes didn't make him feel like he was being mentally undressed.

After a few minutes, Soldier Kay returned and took her place. She saluted Stink, but then turned to address Zim, having to crane her neck to look up at him.

“Food Service Drone Zim,” she began in her gruff voice. “I am to inform you that our Tallests are not seeing anyone right now. You are instructed to wait until you are called for. In the meantime, --” She took out a PAD much like Zim’s. “-- you have been assigned to your old quarters in the Smeet Training facilities and your luggage has been delivered there.”

Zim, however, gasped. “Wait,  _ how _ long?? It’s URGENT! The Empire is in  _ imminent danger! _ I need to see the Tallests  _ NOW!” _

She, however, didn't look the least bit impressed. “They have very clearly indicated that they  _ will not be bothered _ right now, under penalty of being thrown out the airlock, Zim,” she stated firmly (Dib blinked wondering what kind of threat that was supposed to be planetside). “So, I’m afraid there is nothing you can do but to try and find some way to pass the time until they are ready to receive you. - And if you want a tip from someone who just came from their chambers, Tallest Purple is not well, so it could take a few days.”

_ “A FEW DAYS?” _ Zim cried, yanking on his antennae.

“I suggest you spend it by taking your…” She gave Dib a careful look-over and her antennae twitched. “Huh… well, your Sweetling, apparently, and showing him around.” She evaluated Dib again and he suddenly felt like  _ she _ was not only undressing him, but seeing right through his very skin to his squeedlyspooch, or worse. “And maybe give him a chance to rest from the trip.”

As far as Dib was concerned, nothing sounded better than to leave and go someplace where he could, indeed, rest up. Away from the discomforting eyes. And with a real bed where he could stretch out, he hoped.

Zim, however, was stammering in protest until she held up a clawed hand and glared dangerously at him.

“That is FINAL, Zim! - Now, away with you!”

The other soldiers raised their weapons threateningly and Dib grabbed Zim’a arm fearfully. The ex-invader growled, but then turned on his heel and marched out, Dib still on his arm, with Stink following quickly behind the two of them.

Once outside, they stopped and Stink turned to them, again looking at Dib longingly.

“Zim, I know he’s  _ your _ Sweetling, but do you think maybe I could borrow him for just for a little while? And I’ll even feed him before I return him.”

Zim, however, had his spider legs extended by the eighth word, and looked ready to kill Stink, his smouldering glare could have made his skin melt off and drop him dead right there. All four metallic points were aimed at him.

“Oh, come on, Zim! You can't blame a guy for trying! He’s sooooo tall! And sweeting!”

“And he’s  _ mine! _ MY Sweetling,  _ MY Dib!” _ Zim snarled in a tone that matched the death glare he was nailing Stink with.

Stink gave a heavy sigh. “I know… Alright, I’ll… leave him alone.” Then he shot Dib a hopeful look. “Unless you’d want to come for a little spin with Stink?”

The same moment Dib shook his head as hard as he could, was the same moment Zim pressed the sharp tip of one of his spider-legs to the underside of Stink’s chin, another to the middle of his chest, one aimed for his groin, and the last in the middle of his forehead.

Looking legitimately worried for the first time in all this, Stink gulped audibly. “O-ok! He’s all yours, Zim, and I won’t bother him anymore! - I-I need to get back to my duties now, anyway…”

Zim drew the legs back some, but kept them trained on Stink.

“Anyway, I trust you remember where your old room is.” With that, he left, only giving them a small, pouty nod as he headed past them and down a hall.

Zim retracted the legs back into his PAK and turned to Dib, considering him in stony silence.

“I shook my head, I swear!” No way was he going to be accused of wanting to go with the Invader!

“He’s right: You  _ are _ quite tall…” 

Something about his tone made it sound like he was only noticing for the first time and Dib couldn't help feeling annoyed. He folded his arms and fixed his Pendant with an accusing glare.

“If you even try and act like you didn't notice, I swear I’ll lock you out of whatever room we’re staying in for the whole time we’re here!”

Zim however didn't seem to hear, or just didn't want to, and continued looking at him, though his expression had changed to a calculating one.

“I wonder if you're as tall as the Tallests…” He scratched his chin, then gave a shrug, slipped his arm around Dib’s waist and began leading him off.

“That… would be bad.” At least, he figured it would be bad to be  _ taller _ than the leaders of a society based on height.

Zim didn't reply, instead just guided him down the hall in the opposite direction Invader Stink had gone, seeming to be lost in thought.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Thirty minutes later and deep beneath the planet’s surface, Zim stopped before a door, one of many rows of plain and impossibly boring doors. He looked at Dib, then placed his hand over the panel and the door opened. He gestured Dib inside.

Going inside, the amber-eyed Irken saw it was sparse and small, though apparently meant to accommodate three people, for on one wall was a bunk bed and on the opposite, a single one. All small and Dib didn't see how they were expected to sleep on them at all. Sleeping together was certainly out of the question and Dib didn't like the prospect one bit.

He turned back to his companion to ask if there was any way to get larger beds, but changed his mind instantly, for Zim’s shoulders were deeply slumped and his head bowed. The ruby-eyed Irken glanced once to the bed across, then to the bottom of the two bunk beds, then back and glared hatefully.

“Zim?” Dib finally spoke, tentatively approaching his companion.

“This was my room when I was a smeet.” He pointed to the top bunk. “I slept up there.” Then to the bottom. “Skoodge slept there.” Then to the other bed. “And that was Vloxx’s bed.”

Zim wandered over to the small countertop, which raised up to accommodate his height, and he slumped heavily against it, looking wearier than Dib had ever seen him as he placed both elbows on it and bowed his head deep until his forehead was nearly touching it. Dib again walked up to him and reached out to rest a hand on his companion’s shoulder. Zim raised his hand and grabbed Dib’s arm, pulling it away, then turned around to face Dib and held it to his heart instead.

“Skoodge was one of my best friends in smeet academy, or at least the closest thing to it one could call him. Skoodge and I also trained as soldiers and eventually were raised to the elitest of the elite together: Invaders.”

Dib simply nodded and said nothing, though feared that meant Skoodge was probably dead, given the way Zim was acting.

Then the red-eyed irken nodded to the single bed. “Vloxx was… my boyfriend.”

“Oh!” Dib gasped, glancing to the bed, then back to his Pendant. This was the first time ever that Zim had begun to discuss his ex in any detail and Dib could hardly contain his curiosity. However, he knew better than to ask, so: “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn't really love,” Zim continued on. “I wouldn't even call it squintz.”

“What? ‘Squints’?”

“But when it turned out I was a Tartling,” Zim continued as though he hadn't even heard Dib’s question. “it  _ was _ pleasant to have someone show an interest in me despite how short I was. It was also nice to have a way of easing it when I was tarting. - Until I found out Zim wasn't his  _ only _ one.”

Then Zim released Dib and, raising his head with renewed purpose, marched over to a wall and touched a panel. It opened, revealing a compartment, and he reached in and retrieved their bags. He gave the room a last look over, then went to the door and nodded to Dib.

“Come, my Sweetling!”

Dib looked around once more too, then hurried and joined him. “Where are we going?”

“To arrange for other living quarters,” Zim replied as he marched them back along the hallways, Dib falling into step with him. “I’m not spending another  _ second _ in there.”

“The beds were too small anyway.”

“That too, though I wouldn't take you in any bed either of those two have been in. I wouldn't even let you  _ sleep _ in one!” Zim made a lemon face and added, “Ugh, I could still smell the horrible stench of their… smelly fornications!”

“Is that what it was? I thought it was just stale, unused bedroom smell.” In fact, he was pretty sure that’s all it was.

Zim looked up at him, blinking, then snickered. “Now come, my Dib, and let us find a ROOOOM! One suitable enough to serve as our temporary living quarters!”

Had Dib ever loved Zim more than when he was being so Zimmy? He doubted it very much, and smiled wistfully as he fell into step with his most precious Pendant.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“Zim,” the red-eyed male Irken receptionist sighed heavily at the two standing in what appeared to be a lobby as Zim attempted to negotiate a room with him. “You know these rooms are reserved for the elite and you're just a food service drone!”

“I am an INVADER,” Zim hissed. “Set with the special task of taking over the Earth! - Just look in the computer, it’s all there.”

The drone sighed and tapped on the panel, reading the screen silently for a bit. “Zim, it says you've been  _ exiled _ to the Planet Earth.”

“YOU FOOL! DO NOT MINCE _WORDS!”_ Zim shouted, waving his fists. “My Sweetling and I need accommodations befitting two of _our_ _calibur!”_ He stood tall and proud.

The drone raised his head from the screen and looked back and forth between them, then shook his head, sighing again. “Well, your impressive heights certainly  _ are _ worth something,” he murmured and typed on the screen. “Alright, Zim. I’ve signed you and your Sweetling into a room here that should accommodate you.” He then handed Zim what appeared to be a small, round disc of transparent magenta.

“That's more like it. I guess I’ll spare your neck after all, and  _ not _ report your foolish uncooperation to the Tallests.” Zim then snatched the disc from his hand, looking quite smug.

“Thanks, Zim,” the drone replied with little enthusiasm, though Zim didn't seem to notice.

Zim wrapped his arm around Dib’s waist and, when a yellow-eyed luggage drone came and took their bags, they headed off to their new quarters.

It was a few flights up and at the end of the hallway before Zim stopped and inserted the disc into a slot outside the door, which then opened for them.

Inside, the room was nice enough, minus the bright colours that seemed to decorate all things Irken, with a large and surprisingly comfy-looking bed. There was also a table with chairs and a counter in what appeared to be a kitchen niche. On the main wall in front of the bed was a large computer screen, and, in the far end of the room, there was a large panel which slid open automatically to reveal an equally large window as Zim walked over the threshold, following Dib inside.

The ruby-eyed Irken marched straight up to the computer screen. “Computer, connect me to the Tallest!”

A moment later, a drone came on, who narrowed his green eyes when he saw who it was. “Zim, I told you: We’ll call you when they’re ready. Now stop being a pest!” He cut the connection and the screen went black. Zim sighed and shook his head, then Dib walked up and placed his hand on his companion’s shoulder.

The luggage drone placed their bags near their beds and cleared his throat. Dib turned to him and, seeing the hand held out expectantly, he fumbled in his pockets, taking out his wallet before remembering all he had was Earth money.

“Um, Zim? I don't have any, uh, Irken currency…”

Zim looked up, shrugged, and reached into his PAK, taking out his own wallet and tossed a few coins to the drone.

“Thank you, Zim,” he replied and turned towards the door. He stopped and looked back. “If you two need anything while you’re here, I’m Service Drone Lez, at your service.”

Zim said nothing, just turned back to the screen and began typing, so Dib took it upon himself.

“Thanks, um, Mr. Lez?”

The drone pursed his brow. “No, just Service Drone Lez.” He gave a shrug. “Or Lez for short.”

“Ok, Lez. I’m Dib and that’s Zim,” Dib replied, pointing to his companion.

“Yes, Sirs.” Lez then nodded and left the room.

  
  
  


***


End file.
